Crapper Crisis

November 11, 2024

We’re facing possibly one of the greatest calamities imaginable in a modern society outside of a natural disaster: our washlet is broken!

On a bleak, cold and dark morning, I struggled to drag myself out of bed, but my rumbling bowels made it easier.

I was horrified, though, to find that I couldn’t get the comforting spray between my cheeks that I have become accustomed to after bombing the bowl following decades of life in Japan.

Hoping that it was nothing more than a mere glitch, I removed the washlet’s power plug and headed out on a ride, praying that the toilet seat would magically repair itself while I was out on the bike.7

The ride was uneventful, though the rain and dark and my inability to see clearly had me thinking that I am a fatality waiting to happen.

Unfortunately, the washlet remained motionless when I got home. Now I have to hope we can get it repaired quickly. Dark days, indeed.

Edit: Crisis averted! The washlet’s working again. But it may only be temporary. Our washlet is a 2010 model and the maker reckons they may not be able to fix it. Could be a good time to start looking for an upgrade.