Daily Life

Glistening…

The miraculous kangaroo paw given up for dead at the end of last summer

Today greeted me with the pitter-patter of raindrops (and a hefty dose of demotivation), so I spent the predawn hours vegging out with the idiot box on and gazing into the garden, appreciating the raindrops glistening on the leaves.

In days of yore, I wouldn’t have been deterred by the not-quite-drizzle level of the rain and just gotten on the bike.

I should have done it today, too.

The star performer of Kangaeroo Corner, the grevillea purchased at a Gyomu Super

But I am struggling to see and have lost my nerve, particularly when cornering or riding on potentially slippery surfaces.

It was enough to keep me sedimentary.

More grevillea

So was a demoralizing public shaming in the workplace yesterday.

So out of touch with reality is my sense of self-worth–sometimes I clearly over-estimate my value and others I am the polar opposite–I don’t know whether my problems stem from me or my tyrannical boss (who has terrible relationships with all employees).

Raindrops on the leaves of the tree fern…these tiny tinges of delight…小さな幸せ…are among the great joys of my life

I’m reacting in the only way I can by trying to control what I can, which means no angry outbursts and striving to be cooperative and constructive, while being grateful to my employer and generally respecting my situation by doing the best I can.

Raindrops on the petals of the leptospermum laevigatum look glorious

It’s not working particularly well, to be honest.

But the rest of the other shit is out of my control.

And I need to find a less toxic environment as it is having a severely detrimental effect on my well-being.

Thank God for Kangaeroo Corner, then, because it brings me so much joy.