Hopes Raised, Then Razed

Today has been another roller-coaster ride for my emotions, having started on a high and now falling into a deep trough.

I’ve been keen for today for a few reasons, but mostly because on late Friday night I received an email asking me to apply for a job being offered with the prospect of long-term employment.

I’ve been searching fruitlessly searching for a new job for years, and the offer seemed to be work within my capacity.

But a closer look at the job description suggested that perhaps my abilities wouldn’t hold up, and then when it came to discussing the position, I found out that the “long-term employment” was a maximum of three years and even though the recruiter said it was eminently possible that extensions may be possible, they also added that there was no example of their company having done so until now.

I was stupid and had hoped there would be something appealing about the job, especially as there appeared to be some urgency in getting to me.

I reminded myself not to get too far ahead of the situation. And I did it anyway. So, I wasn’t overly disappointed or at all surprised when the recruiter decided to move ahead without putting me forward as a candidate. Despite the logical conclusion, it still hurts like hell.

I’m not sure anyone enjoys the job seeking process. I sure don’t. I never have, and the promise of long-term employment in Japan has been one of the aspects of life that had attracted me to this country. My self-worth is never realistic but it feels in the pits now.

At least I’m getting some glorious sunrises on the bike in the morning.

And the garden is finally starting to show signs of spring growth (but the plants that aren’t doing so are dragging down my self-esteem even further….)