Doxing Paradoxes

OK, the title is a bit of a lie, because I confused doxing with poxing, but the wordplay was better, so that’s what I went with.

The paradoxes I’m dealing with are trying to make a living while blessed with innumerable talents that are all useless and a track record in life where the two most consistent results have been mediocrity and failure, yet still believing I am a highly competent member of the workforce. And, of course, the enormous self-hate.

Anyway, it was a great start to the day, especially considering I had feared waking up feeling bleak because a job interview had suddenly been cancelled on me.

I got to actually talk to people on the track today, courtesy of having left home inordinately early.

I’ve been seeing these faces for years and they have inspired me because, by nature, I don’t like to exercise, yet these people drag themselves out of bed in the early hours of the day and hit the track.

I was especially glad today to be able to stop and chat with a woman I had previously referred to as the pandemic granny, because during the height of the COVID-19 shutdowns, she would see me approaching on the bike track from a distance and run away to avoid coming into contact. I felt she only did it because I am a foreigner, and as is my sensitivity in such cases, I felt rejected. It turns out that she is a nurse who deals with young mothers daily and her concerns of spreading disease were more than fair. Over the past couple of years, we have slowly gotten to communicate through interest in her beagle, Happy, who barks like mad every time he sees me (which conjures more self-hate because who wants to be hated by a beagle?) Today, we learned each other’s names. It was a far cry from her running in terror at the mere sight of me.

Speaking of terror, yesterday was just a mess. But one good thing did come out of it! Thanks to a fellow Aussie Twitter mate, who is a superstar mountain climber among many other things, I learned there is a beauty parlor in Hokkaido called Kangaroo Paw! An unexpected delight!

I’ve been trying to keep in touch with friends I inflicted my kangaroo paw on to see their progress.

Results have been mixed.

In the neighborhood, only one person has reported a successful bloom, and what a ripper it is, producing the only confirmed red flowers among any bloomed from the seeds I sowed. The neighbor is thrilled, and rightfully so as it looks fantastic! Having not produced any red of my own, I confess to more than a little jealousy, particularly as the red kangaroo paw we originally had in the garden died after the first summer here.

A couple of other mates have also reported flowers, which has given me immense joy.

Most plants, however, have only grown without flower.

I suspect this is the result of dividing the rhizomes in the early spring against the plants grown from seed last year.

I didn’t think to check or note when I did the divisions, which may have been a mistake, as it would be easier to reason now why some have flowered and others haven’t.

Ah well, live and learn.