Bracing…
Unfortunately, the bracing in the title of today’s post refers to readying for what looks like a rough ride ahead instead of the alternative meaning of refreshing.
My job search has proved disastrous, and it’s hard to keep trying to convince myself that I should be grateful for the position I do have even though my employer clearly wants me out and is harassing and haranguing me in every possible way to make my departure a voluntary rather than enforced one.
It’s even worse to be surrounded by people who, though well-meaning and intending to encourage, are driving my feelings downward by constantly insisting that things will get better when I have absolutely no indication that they will go that way.
It sounds rude to reject that support, and it is. I know they mean well and there have been many people getting behind me to help me out. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by such people. But my reality does not correspond to their kind words.
The upshot is the realization that no good comes from inflicting myself and my thoughts on others.
I’ve long realized that dragging myself out of my current quagmire is, like everything else after all, an inside job.
It’s the direction I have no idea about. I don’t need another failure. But I can’t even fail yet because I don’t know which way to go.
